I woke up a short time ago and am heading back to bed shortly. My body said “hey, time for your meds”.

But I wanted to take a quick moment to update everyone and let you know that I am home and am being cared for by the best nurses in the world. My dear husband has been beside himself making sure I have everything I need. He’s teaching me that it is ok to let someone else take care of me for a change. I can’t imagine going through this without his undying love and support.

My wonderful brother has been handling the housework and taking care of the dog for me, and his strength and help mean so much to me. I’ll never forget how he’s willing to set aside his own life for me at this time.
(These two men are amazing caregivers!)

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Well, we’re down to the wire, folks. For the past two weeks, I’ve been preparing myself for tomorrow’s surgery.

I’ve read more information about breast cancer in the past two weeks than I ever thought was possible to read. In fact, I’m pretty sure I could pass a medical exam on the subject by now…

I’ve surfed online for pictures of what a mastectomy looks like, to help shield myself from the absolute shock of seeing what it will look like. It ain’t pretty, but at least I know what I’m in for…

I’ve read countless survivor’s stories and have laughed and cried along with them…

I’ve read each and every comment and thoughts from friends and people I’ve never met, which has helped enormously. Man, I can’t tell you how good it is to know I’m not doing this alone…

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On August 30th, Michel (a passionate copywriter) used his blog to tell the world about our condition. His post spoke eloquently and elegantly of what we are going through, at a time when I would not have been able to put this into words.

I have always admired his ability to write from the heart. It’s what makes him such an amazing copywriter, and it is one of the very first things I knew about him that made me fall in love with him.

I also knew that he needed to do this. He needed to express himself the one way he knew how. He needed to pour out his tears in words, and tears of my own fell while I read it. I’m certain many others cried when reading it as well.

And as the comments began to come in, I was utterly amazed at how many people were listening and cared about us.

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Monday was the day that I was scheduled for breast MRI tests. This is one of many different types of tests I will be undergoing in the coming weeks, months, and probably years.

Such a strange experience, and not exactly what one might expect.

First, when the nurse was scheduling me, she asked the weirdest questions, like “Have you ever had metal in your eye”. Metal in my eye? I tried desperately to remember any instance in my childhood that might have resulted in me having any shards of metal that I may have forgotten. Apparently, this machine consists of such a powerful magnet that if I had ever had metal in my eye…well let’s just say it would have removed itself during the MRI. Blecch!

So needless to say, I was a bit nervous when the test began. I fervently hoped I hadn’t forgotten some lead pencil accident or something. Strangely, I squinched my eyes closed, hoping that if I had forgotten anything, I wouldn’t experience anything awful (as if keeping my eyes closed would actually help).

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Or “Lessons in Nothingness.”

Coming back from our honeymoon, where we spent an entire week on a cruise with the entire family, there is so much to say, and I barely know where to begin.

What an absolutely beautiful week! I was so busy having fun, I very nearly forgot about “the cancer”, for a while at least. What a treat to just breathe in the ocean air and relax on our balcony, watching the waves slap up against the side of the ship. I had forgotten how wonderful it is to just breathe.

Actually, in hindsight, it’s probably my inability to just stop and breathe for a while that caused my body to go out of whack like this. If I could do it over again, I would have taken more time to just relax over the years.

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