Today was our pre-wedding party, our bachelor and bachelorette party. Most of the guests who will be at the wedding on Sunday came early so they could be at the party. We chose to hold it at a bar, and not separate parties like most people have. Now, more than ever, we needed to be together, especially since this would be our first “public appearance” since the diagnosis, and we needed each other’s strength.

As Michel and I got ready for the party, and we were choosing our outfits (jeans and a cheesy Bride and Groom t-shirt, of course), it dawned on me that wearing a bra tonight was not going to happen. Lately, it hurts to wear a bra for longer than an hour or so. I carefully chose an undershirt to wear under the t-shirt and hoped I would be able to keep smiling no matter what.

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This has been the most amazingly beautiful day of my life, and the memories we created today will last a lifetime!

We got married! Yippee! (If you haven’t seen it already, check out our wedding blog at MichelAndSylvie.com)

I am in a state of absolute joy today. I couldn’t be happier. After all, I got to marry my very best friend, a man I actually love hanging out with. A man who inspires me and makes me laugh. Michel amazes me with his sharp intelligence and brilliant creativity, and his ability to see the good in everything and everyone constantly floors me. I mean, he doesn’t have a mean bone in his body.

Simply put, we were meant to be together. He is my soulmate.

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Monday was the day that I was scheduled for breast MRI tests. This is one of many different types of tests I will be undergoing in the coming weeks, months, and probably years.

Such a strange experience, and not exactly what one might expect.

First, when the nurse was scheduling me, she asked the weirdest questions, like “Have you ever had metal in your eye”. Metal in my eye? I tried desperately to remember any instance in my childhood that might have resulted in me having any shards of metal that I may have forgotten. Apparently, this machine consists of such a powerful magnet that if I had ever had metal in my eye…well let’s just say it would have removed itself during the MRI. Blecch!

So needless to say, I was a bit nervous when the test began. I fervently hoped I hadn’t forgotten some lead pencil accident or something. Strangely, I squinched my eyes closed, hoping that if I had forgotten anything, I wouldn’t experience anything awful (as if keeping my eyes closed would actually help).

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I have a special request for all of you. You can help fund free mammograms for special needs women who cannot afford the high cost of mammograms in the US. The Breast Cancer Site has a long running program to help defray the costs of these mammograms, and it is completely free to participate.

Please bookmark their site and click on the button each day. It costs nothing to click and 100% of the sponsor funds goes to where it can help the most.

Not everyone is as fortunate as I was, and if we can help others with early detection, it will help save lives. Click on the button above to go to TheBreastCancerSite.com and remember to click every day.

Thank you!

It’s been a few days since I’ve posted anything, primarily because I haven’t been feeling as well as usual (gee, wonder why?).

I debated sharing this publicly, and ultimately decided to go for it. See, this blog isn’t just about talking about how I stay hopeful and positive. It’s also my way of dealing with the challenges of going through this event in my life, and if I am to be completely healed, I need to also be completely raw and honest about everything I’m experiencing.

So, I am taking a few moments to just “let it all hang out” and let the chips fall where they may.

The last few days have taken their toll on me, both physically and mentally. It’s been more difficult than usual to maintain my smile. It hasn’t been impossible, just more challenging.

There are two reasons for this.
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The day we’ve been waiting for has finally arrived. On Sept. 20th, we had an appointment with the surgeon to go over the “autopsy” results. They did the pathology and biopsy on the removed breast tissue and Wednesday, they delivered the results in a neatly typed 8 x 10 envelope.

Honestly, we were hoping for better results. Up until this point, we had no idea whether or not the cancer had invaded my lymph nodes, and we were praying that it hadn’t and that it had been caught in time. We weren’t really prepared for any other news.

So, the reality of how far this cancer had gone really hit us rather hard. We’re still reeling from it.

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After the diagnosis, Michel and I took the time we needed to absorb it all and deal with it on an emotional level. We were in waiting mode, waiting for the first appointment with the oncologist who would tell us what kind of chemotherapy treatment regimen would be required. We were waiting for the first appointment with the radiologist who would tell us how the radiation treatments would be administered. And we were waiting for test results to tell us what type of hormone therapy I would be given.

The waiting is one of the most difficult things we need to deal with. Waiting to get more information. Waiting to find out what happens next. Waiting to learn how long I’ll be going through this.

Waiting to “live” again.

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Well folks, since my last post, life has been a flurry of doctor’s appointments, tests, consultations, and getting informed and ready for the various treatments I will be going through in the coming months.

We knew I would need radiation, chemotherapy, and hormone treatments, but we needed all the myriad of tests to be completed to determine exactly what type of drugs they would be using in my specific case. And those test results are starting to trickle in, giving us more information about what to expect.

With bated breath, I’ve been waiting to find out whether the type of chemo drugs I will be receiving will result in early menopause, as well as losing all my hair. I fully expected this would be the case, but I didn’t want to go out and get my head shaved, only to find out that hair loss would not be an issue in my case. Wouldn’t that have been a cute joke for the universe to pull on me?

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Yes, we actually did it! We shaved my head, and I’ve never felt more alive as I do at this moment!

This was truly an incredible moment in my life, and I am so grateful to all of you who helped me turn this difficult moment into something I actually enjoyed doing. It has taught me some very important lessons about turning lemons into lemonade, and how the most challenging moments in this journey are the moments I need to pay special attention to. Each time something arises that seems unconquerable, I will find something I can do, a twist I can use, that makes it a moment to look forward to.

The entire shaving experience took over an hour (although we edited it down to just the highlights for the video), and in that hour, a new person was born. This new character represents the best part of all of us when the chips are down.

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Since this drama began for us, I have been utterly amazed at the outpouring of support, gifts, cards, letters, and love that has come our way.

It is honestly overwhelming, at times. See, in our lives and in our business, we’re used to being the “givers”. We have a family that we are used to giving our time, money and support to. In our business, we are “teachers”, and we’re quite accustomed to giving a great deal of our knowledge, time, resources and energy to help others.

So when this happened, we honestly did not expect so many people, many whom we have never met, to reach out this way and provide us with much needed support and caring, just when we need it the most.

Michel and I will be eternally grateful for it. You were there for us when we needed the most to know that we were loved. And I believe it has gone a long way to helping me get through the healing much faster.

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