Archive for Survival

Tests Are In, The Doctors Are Certain

MRI - Magnetic Resonance ImagingMonday was the day that I was scheduled for breast MRI tests. This is one of many different types of tests I will be undergoing in the coming weeks, months, and probably years.

Such a strange experience, and not exactly what one might expect.

First, when the nurse was scheduling me, she asked the weirdest questions, like “Have you ever had metal in your eye”. Metal in my eye? I tried desperately to remember any instance in my childhood that might have resulted in me having any shards of metal that I may have forgotten. Apparently, this machine consists of such a powerful magnet that if I had ever had metal in my eye…well let’s just say it would have removed itself during the MRI. Blecch!

So needless to say, I was a bit nervous when the test began. I fervently hoped I hadn’t forgotten some lead pencil accident or something. Strangely, I squinched my eyes closed, hoping that if I had forgotten anything, I wouldn’t experience anything awful (as if keeping my eyes closed would actually help).

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Prepared For Tomorrow’s Mastectomy

MastectomyWell, we’re down to the wire, folks. For the past two weeks, I’ve been preparing myself for tomorrow’s surgery.

I’ve read more information about breast cancer in the past two weeks than I ever thought was possible to read. In fact, I’m pretty sure I could pass a medical exam on the subject by now…

I’ve surfed online for pictures of what a mastectomy looks like, to help shield myself from the absolute shock of seeing what it will look like. It ain’t pretty, but at least I know what I’m in for…

I’ve read countless survivor’s stories and have laughed and cried along with them…

I’ve read each and every comment and thoughts from friends and people I’ve never met, which has helped enormously. Man, I can’t tell you how good it is to know I’m not doing this alone…

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Quick Note That I’m At Home Now

I woke up a short time ago and am heading back to bed shortly. My body said “hey, time for your meds”. :)

But I wanted to take a quick moment to update everyone and let you know that I am home and am being cared for by the best nurses in the world. My dear husband has been beside himself making sure I have everything I need. He’s teaching me that it is ok to let someone else take care of me for a change. I can’t imagine going through this without his undying love and support.

My wonderful brother has been handling the housework and taking care of the dog for me, and his strength and help mean so much to me. I’ll never forget how he’s willing to set aside his own life for me at this time.
(These two men are amazing caregivers!)

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Some Days Are More Challenging

Breast Cancer DepressionIt’s been a few days since I’ve posted anything, primarily because I haven’t been feeling as well as usual (gee, wonder why?).

I debated sharing this publicly, and ultimately decided to go for it. See, this blog isn’t just about talking about how I stay hopeful and positive. It’s also my way of dealing with the challenges of going through this event in my life, and if I am to be completely healed, I need to also be completely raw and honest about everything I’m experiencing.

So, I am taking a few moments to just “let it all hang out” and let the chips fall where they may.

The last few days have taken their toll on me, both physically and mentally. It’s been more difficult than usual to maintain my smile. It hasn’t been impossible, just more challenging.

There are two reasons for this.
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My Breast Cancer Diagnosis

Medical chart cancer diagnosisThe day we’ve been waiting for has finally arrived. On Sept. 20th, we had an appointment with the surgeon to go over the “autopsy” results. They did the pathology and biopsy on the removed breast tissue and Wednesday, they delivered the results in a neatly typed 8 x 10 envelope.

Honestly, we were hoping for better results. Up until this point, we had no idea whether or not the cancer had invaded my lymph nodes, and we were praying that it hadn’t and that it had been caught in time. We weren’t really prepared for any other news.

So, the reality of how far this cancer had gone really hit us rather hard. We’re still reeling from it.

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